Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
where are my eyebrows?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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