sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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