Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
