I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
