Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
