the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
