problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
