Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
