the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
