some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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