K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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