All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize