oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
