so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
