tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
