thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
