you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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