Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
