she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
