4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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