Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
