I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
