She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
