I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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