it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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