Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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