where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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