I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
