Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
