i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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