It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
