I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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