I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
