Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
