I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
