Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
