yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize