therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
