I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
