my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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