There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
