im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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