I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
