Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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