GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize