The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
