I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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