I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
