Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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