I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
