how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
