i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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