I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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