is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
