rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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