You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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