My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
