there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
