yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
