Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
