I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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