reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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