I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize