Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
